Confession. Yesterday, I wanted to write about body image. It’s a real problem, and I think it needs to be addressed, but as I started writing my post, all I could think about was pious platitudes that we have all heard a thousand times. Not that yesterday’s post was bad, but I could not articulate my feelings on body image, and I had this other crazy idea that I needed to share.
Honestly, though, I can’t shake this feeling that I should post something about body image, but I need to address this truthfully and from the heart. Remember, I am no professional, but I sure know a lot about struggling with weight and that directly corresponds to body image.
So, today I will try to coin a phrase about what you need to do in order to transform your life, love me or hate me for it, but: to really transform your health, you need to hate your body, but not too much. Don’t hate me just yet, read on… there’s a process going on here.
For the longest time, when I absolutely hated every bit of exercise and torture I was wreaking upon my body, I had to remind myself of the number of years I indulged every desire of my body, and now it had to pay.
Now, people, before you report me for some crimes against humanity, hear me out.
Eating disorders are REAL and can hurt you, terribly. So, I need to coin a new phrase to combat such a problem.
You need to love your body in such a way that you hate it. Maybe that’s better. Love your body, so you hate it. OK, maybe that works, but does it describe what needs to be done?
I remember restricting myself from pastries for… what… 2-3 months? I can’t even remember, because, while it seemed like forever, it really wasn’t that long. I remember this pastry restriction. Someone would offer me some sort of pastry- cake, a cookie, you get the idea- and I would decline. They would encourage me to have just one, and I would reply, “I’ve had my share of pastries for over 20 years, I can do without for a little while.”
Maybe this is a better phrase: Love your body so much that you hate it enough to beat it into submission.
I started my transformation on February 6, 2008- I was running at the end of May. That’s 4 months. It took me four months to build up the strength and wherewithal to try to run. I didn’t go below 200 pounds until October, 2008- that’s 9 months. I had to remind myself that I had abused my body for 20 some odd years, so it would take time to abuse it enough to lose the weight. November, 2009 I finished my first marathon- I’m now working towards finishing my 4th.
Wait, maybe this phrase works better: Love your body in such a way as to not spare the rod.
I kind of like that. Proverbs 13:24, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”
A simple rewrite of that would say that, he who spares the rod hates his body, but he who loves his body is careful to discipline it.
Discipline is important. Not hate, not revenge, not torture. Discipline… discipline is love.
I can relate to this in running. It takes a lot of discipline to train to run a race; but the discipline it takes to train for and run a marathon is something that only marathoners can understand.
The same is true for people who have had significant struggle with weight. Only weight strugglers can understand the plight of the weight struggler.
But please understand this: Eating disorders cannot be treated by reading this blog. Anorexia, Bulimia, and Compulsive Eating, just examples, cannot be treated or solved without professional help. Eating disorders are not the kind of thing where you can just say, Ok, I guess I’ll stop doing that. They are as serious as any drug or alcohol addiction, and they can kill you just as quick. Seek therapy.
Also, please, at least try to stop looking at the TV or magazines or billboards for the picture of ideal beauty- and, oh yeah, it’s not just women who struggle with this- men do, too. And even if no other man will admit to it, I will.
I, too, have body image problems; and yes, it is partially attributed to what TV, the internet, magazines and billboards are telling me is the ideal, handsome man. It’s true. Both men and women have distorted body images. It’s not as pronounced in men, because, in men, feelings are not expressed- or so we would be lead to believe… not manly enough. I love ordering a salad in a restaurant and when someone other than the server brings the salad, they place it in front of my wife and put the burger in front of me- then we switch right in front of them.
These images are put in front of us to tell us what “healthy” and “sexy” look like. They are wrong. If only we knew all the ins and outs of what it actually takes for those women and men to get to what they look like in these images, we would say, that’s just not natural or healthy. But, instead, we just keep looking and desiring to look the same way. We have a problem.
Obesity, eating disorders, and body image know no cultural or gender boundaries. We need to be the counter culture. It’s about health, so don’t kill yourself trying to be healthy… love yourself enough to be healthy… hey, maybe that’s the new phrase I should coin.
People ask me how long I’ve kept the weight off and I answer… but what I really should do is say that the transformation started on February 6, 2008… and I’ve stuck with it since. It’s not about the dang scales… it’s about health!
Love yourself enough to be healthy.
February 22, 2012 is day 1 of the Lenten 40 Day Challenge. Think of one thing that you are clinging to with that death grip that you know you need to let go of to live an active, healthy life; add one activity to promote such a healthy life (exercise, personal trainer, etc.)- commit to it for 40 days (Easter Sunday is the day you break the fast). You have over a month to prepare yourself, recruit friends to join in, and make the possible professional appointments I described in yesterday’s post. It changed my life… I know it will change yours… love yourself enough to give it a try.
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