Can't is a contraction for cannot. The word can speaks to the ability to do something- so when someone asks "can I use the restroom", my response is, "I certainly hope so! If you can't then go see a doctor." Don't worry if you didn't laugh, my students don't laugh anymore either (well, I'm not sure they ever really laughed, but in my mind it brought down the house.)
Won't is a contraction for will not. Yeah, I agree, by rule is should be willn't- but at some point in the development of the English language, someone thought it necessary to change the rules from time to time just to mess with our heads. In any case, it's the word will that is important here, because the word will is referring to a persons willingness to do something.
So, when you say that you can't do something, you are saying that you do not have the ability to do something- that it is out of your control and therefore it is not your responsibility, it is not your fault because there is something that is beyond you that is not allowing you to do it.
When you say that you won't do something, you are saying that you are not willing to do it. It is in your power to do something, but you have made an active choice to not do it. You have no one to blame for not doing it, because it is entirely your responsibility to do it.
For example, I can't sprout wings and fly; and I won't knowingly kill another human being.
Got it? Good.
Some people can't run, for example; others won't... some people can't do high impact exercises; others won't... some people can't exercise; others won't... some people can't get around and have an active lifestyle; others won't... some people can't__________; others won't... get the idea?
I run into a real issue sometimes with this when I'm talking about food and family systems. Because the perceptions of some, often kids, is that they can't eat healthier food because the food supply at home is out of their control... some adults feel the same way, even if they are the ones who do the cooking. Ideally, everyone in the family works together for a healthier lifestyle, but in reality that's just not how life works.
I know some who have tried, cutting back their person portions, or cooked an entirely different meal from the rest of the family's - some to success and others to ridicule or suspicion from the rest of the family.
This is a really tough one, because honestly, if you really want to lose weight- exercise can't do it alone. Don't get me wrong, the benefits of exercise are great. Heart, lung, and muscle functions, mental focus, etc. are incredibly great reasons to work out- and yes, you do burn calories... but if you really want to lose weight, what you eat has the greatest impact of all.
Since I've started this blog, many people have asked about carbohydrates, high fructose corn syrup, protein and saturated fat. Over time, I hope to give more specifics on what I learn, but believe me, the more I research on these, the more intense the study of them becomes... there is a lot to learn. It certainly can't hurt to boost protein and lessen sugar (anything with an -ose- suffix in an ingredients list is sugar) intake, but as far as certain "diets" are concerned- well, just about every one of them has a list of successes a mile long... but also a list of failures (that doesn't usually get reported).
We all have that friend who can eat whatever he or she wants and however much, who never exercises, but looks like a toothpick. Conversely, we have that other friend who restricts him or herself from foods, but still can't lose any weight. We can point to anecdotal evidence to support the claims and criticisms from just about any diet plan, and we can fret and wring our hands about every bite of food we take, but none of this helps us live simply and happy... it just adds to the anxiety, which isn't good.
But when we finally stop with the excuses and can really identify the times we have said "I can't" when we really meant "I won't", we learn that sometimes this fight against obesity is beyond a battle and is an outright war.
It helps if the whole family jumps on board- but sometimes the "I can'ts" sit at the same dinner table as the "I won'ts" and, at that point, it is easy to surrender. Sometimes it helps to share your personal goals with the family- tell them what you're planning to do, but don't force them into a lifestyle change they are not ready for. Find someone who can support you and whom you can support. Don't try to do it alone- your personal commitment and struggles are shared with hundreds of thousands of people... seek them out, they will not be hard to find.
Since I don't know your personal family situation, I "won't" and "can't" judge you, but let me at the very least encourage you. For every one person who is holding you back from eating better, living better, and being happier, there are hundreds out there who are cheering for you. We "can't" do it for you, but we "will" support you.
Don't let an unsupportive environment turn "want to" into "can't", because ultimately it is "won't". No one said war was easy... even if the title of the blog is "Run and Eat Simply".
And WHEN you achieve your goals, you'll be surprised on who you encouraged along the way, who you inspired and, because of your unique situation, you won't believe who you will be helping in the future.
I've learned that once you've achieved these weight goals, the best thing to do is to pay it forward.
So get out there, and get to it.
God bless!
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