I went for a short, 4 mile run today pushing my 4 year old son in his jogging stroller. He's over 36 pounds now and I haven't pushed him in the stroller for a while. While we have had such a mild winter, it still hasn't really been warm enough for a jogging stroller ride, but my wife was away for the afternoon and since it was supposed to be a short, easy run anyway, I figured that instead of asking the baby sitter to stay a little longer, I would just take him out for a run.
A lot has changed since we last went out together. Rodichoks, our local farm market, has closed, so as we ran by, I had to explain that we can no longer go there on summer days to get fresh, locally grown fruit, sweet corn, and veggies. As we continued down the usual, what I'll call the "stroller route" (since no other routes are very kind to strollers) he kept asking about seeing the firetruck. One of the local fire companies has, for several years, kept an old, yellow firetruck up on blocks with parts slowly disappearing. It was one of our trade mark stops, but alas it, too, is gone. We turned around to head back down to see many other changes to our run... times like these get me to reflect.
I looked through my old Facebook photos, starting at the end and working my way to the beginning. There are also some old pictures from high school and college mixed in. The transformations that have come through the years are remarkable, sometimes I even wonder if these are pictures of the same guy. Well, perhaps it's not. I'm not the same guy I once was.
Sitting in a meeting today, where most of the members are either runners or "pre" runners (they'll get there), one of the members mentioned going long, somewhere in the 4 mile range. Then, as usual, looked at me and mentioned that the distance might not seem long to me, but it did to them. In addition, I come home and find an email that my friend's wife just gave birth to their second child (despite my best efforts, they did not name the child after me.) All this is connected.
When I was in college it was this friend that I first tried running with. Twenty minutes, nothing more- very light runs. I remember our conversations about joining this running culture- about how when we passed people riding bikes, we barely made eye contact; when we passed walkers, we just went by; but when we passed another runner, we would nod our heads give a two finger runner salute and possibly even a "hey". We joked that only runners can understand the runner's pain. Don't worry, we weren't actually this snobby, but it was just an observation that we were making as we attempted to break into the culture.
Our twenty minute runs were pure torture. There was one day, however, that we timidly invited another friend to join us... this is when we learned that we were not runners, just people who ran occasionally. We got to our 20 minute mark, and the guy says, "Oh come on, let's go at least another 10 minutes." We looked at each other in terror... we didn't say anything, but we knew what we were thinking, THIRTY minutes? Of RUNNING? What kind of a person does that?! Today... we die. Or something along those lines. In truth, we barely survived... but like most people who run, who do not become runners, we stopped our running experiment shortly thereafter.
It was years later that some well meaning old chap, challenged me to train with the AIDS marathon training program to do a Walk-Run marathon and raise money for AIDS research in the process. My run/walk was 1 to 7 (run 1 minute, walk 7 minutes). I failed this attempt at mile 20, most of it walked because my legs gave up on me somewhere closer to the half marathon mark.
The very idea of running for more than 20 minutes plagued me for years after that. I attempted, and failed at another marathon with the walk/run philosophy. I even did a 10K (walk/run) at one point. Even the thought of running a full 5K was daunting and not something I would have actually considered- I mean 3.1 MILES! Who does that!? Crazy people, that's who!
My weight fluctuated all this time as well, I would go in fits and spurts and the runner that was dying to break free stayed shackled by my own perception of limitations... but then... a little over 4 years ago my son was born, and my wife wanted to lose the baby weight. And, well, you can read the story in earlier posts, but something changed... something got transformed in me. It started February 6, 2008 (Ash Wednesday) with a little 40 day challenge with my wife. She lost too much weight, I lost a whole lot.
During the last week of May that year, I decided to give running one last try. I decided that if I could run just 20 minutes without stopping, then I'd be happy. Thirty minutes later, I was still running. When I returned to my house, I was elated... that little runner trapped inside had finally been released. It took time, but I eventually just kept increasing my time and distance. A year later, I decided to try a marathon, just one last time, to get that monkey off my back. Well, I completed that one, so I decided to slay the beast by completing my first failed marathon, then I'd be done. Finished... Then I said to heck with it, when's the next one?
I guess as we run, things are bound to change. Your long may not be my long, but we still share a kindred spirit. Even if some people ride their bike, walk, do aerobics, lift weights, do yoga, pilates, whatever- we still share the same ideals. No, it's not that we all want to live healthy. We all look to change ourselves in some way. To push beyond our perceived limits and be transformed in the process. We all do that differently at different times, but we all do it. We set goals and exceed them. We are truly better and stronger than we think we are. There is no pill that can change us into what we want to become, just us and our own willingness to break free.
So, change in life is inevitable. The terrain changes as time moves on. We cannot control it, it is beyond us. But we all know there is a little something inside of us that wants to break out and change things for the better. So, release your inner beast and enjoy the ride. The 40 day challenge is in full swing- God be with you!
No comments:
Post a Comment